Food?

I always tell myself that stressing about food too much is even worse for me than consuming some not so good foods, but I don't always listen. In fact I have a tendency to go overboard...

The other night as I was helping my husband unload the groceries and I pulled two cans of tuna out of the bag and gave him a lecture about how he must be trying to kill all of us with his radioactive tuna, rolled my eyes, and slammed the cans into the cabinet. I admit, I was being a bit of a drama queen.  Well, he snapped and went off on me for giving him a lecture over everything that came out of the paper bags (which I didn't even make any comments on him not using the stash of cloth bags in the back of the car).

Today the kids and I were reading from a book we found at the library, "Everything On It" by Shel Silverstein. One of the poems stuck out and had us all laughing so hard that I had to share. I think anyone that tends to get a little over paranoid about their food as I do will see the humor in it.

FOOD? by Shel Silverstein

I was settin' at this restaurant
When the waiter came up and said, "What do you want?"
I looked at the menu-it looked so nice
Til he said, "Let me give you some advice."
He said, "Spaghetti and potatoes got too much starch,
Pork chops and sausage are bad for your heart.
There's hormones in chicken and beef and veal,
Bowl of ravioli is a dead man's meal.
Bread's got preservatives, there's nitrites in ham,
Artificial coloring in jellies and jam.
Stay away from doughnuts, run away from pie,
Pepperoni pizza is a sure way to die.
Sugar's gonna rot your teeth and make you put on weight,
Artificial sweetener's got cyclamates.
Eggs are high in cholesterol, too much fat in cheese,
Coffee ruins your kidneys and so do teas.
Fish got too much mercury, red meat is poison,
Salt's gonna send your blood pressure risin'.
Hot dogs and bologna got deadly red dyes,
Vegetables and fruits are sprayed with pesticides."
So I said, "What can I eat that's gonna make me last?"
He said, "A small drink of water in a sterilized glass."
And then he stopped and he thought for a minute,
And said, "Never mind the water-there's carcinogens in it."
So I got up from the table and walked out in the street,
Realizin' there was absolutely NOTHING I could eat.
So I haven't eaten for a month and I don't feel too fine,
But I know that I'll be healthy for a long, long time.

I was debating about putting a disclaimer about how I do think some of the foods listed are actually amazing for our health when raised or prepared in the traditional way...but seriously, let's not be so serious and just have a good laugh over this.